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Having spent ten years immersed in the role of Director of Creative Affairs and, later, Executive Producer in television, I was intricately involved with, among others, the following big-name sponsors:
- Chrysler Motors, sponsors of the Golden Globe Awards
- Mattel Toys and Hershey Chocolates (although I managed to avoid the addiction to chocolate and it was so much fun to take Barbie Dolls home to my daughter!), sponsors of the New Zoo Revue
- Singer Sewing Machines, sponsors of the Robert Young television special with the Carpenters
- Chevrolet, sponsor of numerous variety specials with John Denver
- Buick, sponsor of a bicentennial special with the one and only Wayne Newton
- Coca Cola, sponsor of the Raquel Welch specials
- Various sponsors of Steve Allen’s 25th Anniversary Special.
In addition to these, there was ABC Television Network with the Desi Arnaz, Jr. special, “California My Way.” (Unfortunately, not God’s way!) Incidentally, that was the last TV special Mama Cass made. Needless to say, I was very aware of many slogans and message from well known brands and their media/advertising agencies.
What I was not aware of was the influence these messages were having both on my thinking and on the way I perceived at the world.
In those years, my wife and I were living in Brentwood with my two children, Colin and Ashley; and, to all appearances, my life was hunky dory! And yet nobody really saw or understood what was going on in my heart or back story. With our production offices at Warner Brothers and our corporate offices on Sunset Strip, I was hanging out with famous people, hobnobbing with the movers and shakers, but also with the celebrities. Part of the reason I loved hanging out with these people is because it made me feel like one of them — effectively giving me a “false identity” to live in. It takes one to the place where you feel that you are right in the middle of the Money and the Power, reveling in the alluring world of “Image.” I had no real anchor to reality in my life.
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The unawareness of the severity of the dysfunction of my family or origin drove this deception in me that, in order to be loved, I had to be perfect. This feeling was embellished even more by trying to be part of this world of Pretty People. That’s not to say that it didn’t have a lot of wonderful people in it, too. Hollywood then, even as today, contained a lot of sensitive, creative, sane, and even Christian people. It’s really easy for one to blame one’s problems on Hollywood or the government or the media or anyone but oneself! The origin of my problems is not Hollywood or even with my family. The origin of my problems is with Adam — and I don’t mean “Adam-12”! But they are compounded by the insanity of coming from a very religious upbringing at the parish school in Hollywood “Our Lady of Perpetual Guilt.” To say that I needed Rolaids or Tums for the stress was an understatement!
After a successful broadcast across the nation of the third Golden Globes and during the cast party in the penthouse of the Beverly Hilton Hotel, I began to realize that something was missing. In looking around at all of these celebrities and seeing my wife and family enjoying the celebration, the sense of God’s presence gave me a jolt of disconnect that this reality was not what it was all about. Something was not connecting for me. The point is that it was a little scary and I found myself wondering, “What’s It All About, Alfie?” I really did not know how to handle everything! I wasn’t even sure what “everything” meant. I felt completely alone. I was experiencing the trauma of a lost child trying to find his way in this world of illusion and confusion. Additionally, my primary partner in the Company wanted to do more. I, on the other hand, wanted something entirely different. Our values were no longer in consonance. I kept trying to “get the love,” to get acceptance through this stage of “show biz,” which led me to the realization that I wanted to sell my interest in the Company.
(Read the exciting conclusion to this story when the book is released!)
This material is Copyrighted 2017 by Mission Light Partners. All rights reserved.
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